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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Our Blessing(s?)!!!

The movers got ahead of schedule in their packing and loading on Tuesday. Because of that, they were able to deliver our belongings and furniture a day early - which meant that we were able to officially move into our house yesterday! :)

I knew that I wanted to take a HPT when Aaron was around and so I had planned to test Friday morning before my beta. However, when we moved into our house a day early, we decided to test on Thursday morning. We became so impatient that I convinced Aaron to let us test last night. We both stood there while the 3-minute clock (it felt more like 3 hours) took its precious time calculating my results. I became so nervous that I said to Aaron, "Let's go out of the room and come back in the room in a few minutes." Aaron said, "No, I want to watch it." But, I left the room and shouted from the other room, "It's taking too long - it's going to be negative because if it was positive, it would have known by now." (After all of my trust in God answering with a "YES!", I'm ashamed to say that I let fear take over my heart the minute I opened the test...) Midway thru my sentence, Aaron shouted "It says "YES!" - I ran and looked at that test and couldn't believe my eyes! (It was kind of backwards...usually a wife takes a HPT and tells her husband she's pregnant, but I was too nervous to look so my husband knew before I did - haha). Since I had 2 HPTs in my box, I took another one at 4:00am and it also said "YES!" It's still so early, but we couldn't help but tell our family, who of course are thrilled! PRAYING FOR STRONG BETA NUMBERS TOMORROW! :)

Thank you, Jesus! We are so thankful for this blessing(s?)!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Psalm 113:9 (Again)

My mom read Psalm 113:9 in her daily devotions on the day we closed on our house and 3 days before our embryo transfer. I have a "Read thru the Bible in a Year" Bible, in which you daily read a portion of the Old & New Testament, and a few verses from Psalms and Proverbs each day. After 365 days, you have read thru the entire Bible.

Today, the week of my beta, part of my Psalms reading was this verse...
"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!" - Psalm 113:9

I think God is continuing to encourage my faith this week. And, while I don't know what this week holds, I believe that one day, He will bless us with children in this new house. Praying that it will begin with a positive test this week! :)

Monday, September 27, 2010

Our House

Once we get our furniture and belongings moved in on Thursday, blinds installed, some color painted on the wall (and the builders' port-a-potty moved away from our Master BR window), our house should start feeling like our home. We are so thankful to God for blessing us with this house!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

My Faith and Our Children's Fate

After Shannon at Room for More asked us to answer a few questions about our FETs and our faith, I thought I'd share one of my answers with everyone else too. Shannon asked "What Scripture are you holding close to these days?"

In addition to Psalm 113:9 that I shared with you guys last week, I am also clinging to another verse...

As I was being fearful and doubtful after the transfer on Sunday, Aaron said something that has stuck with me the rest of the week, "Your faith could determine our children's fate." Ouch! And then he quoted a portion of these verses "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." - James 1:6-8 (Now, we realize that the context of this passage is regarding asking the Lord for wisdom, but we believe there is also application for all prayers in these verses.) So, unlike my last FET, I have been constantly choosing to believe that God is answering my prayers with a "Yes" and if he doesn't, then that is HIS sovereign choice, but my role right now is to believe and not doubt!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

PIO Mistake

After actually reading the labels on my syringes and needles today (why today? I don't know...), I discovered that we've been using the wrong needles to draw up the PIO and inject the PIO! - For BOTH TRANSFER CYCLES!!!

We have been drawing up with the 22 gauge and injecting with the 18 gauge. When I called Ascend Pharmacy to ask if they had put the instruction labels on backwards (not likely, but...) the pharmacist said "Ouch! Isn't that painful!?" Me: "Well, yeah, but I thought it was supposed to be that way..." I didn't know any differently! I called the NEDC nurse to tell her what I had been doing and to be sure that it wasn't a problem as far as the medicine going into the muscle. She asked Dr. K and he confirmed that it would still inject and be absorbed properly, but would be more painful for me.

So, I'm looking forward to my PIO shot tonight - this should be a breeze compared to what I've been experiencing twice a day! :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

For Every Fear...Look to Christ

For years, I have been reading the Girltalk Blog - "Conversations on Biblical Womanhood and Other Fun Stuff." I hadn't read it in about a week, but had a friend post this quote on her Facebook status, it immediately struck me with joy and conviction.

“For every fearful peek into the future, I wish I had looked to Christ instead. For each imaginary trouble conjured up, I wish I had recalled the specific, unfailing faithfulness of God. In place of dismay and dread, I wish I had exhibited hope and joy. I wish I had approached mothering like the preacher Charles Spurgeon approached his job: ‘forecasting victory, not foreboding defeat.” (Carolyn Mahaney)

I had assumed that she had probably gotten it from the Girltalk blog, so I visited their site and yes, it was from there - Please read the blog post! After reading the post, I have decided for every imaginary fear that creeps up, I'm looking to Christ instead and remaining joyful and hopeful. And if that fear becomes a reality, Christ will be there on the other side.

P.S. I am not taking a HPT until the morning of our beta, because Aaron and I will only be together Sunday (which seems a bit early since my beta isn't until Friday) and Thursday night/ Friday morning. Friday will be our first morning waking up in our new home - I am trusting God that we will also be celebrating other news too! :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

THREE Babies in the Womb!

God answered our prayer in that we didn't have to thaw our back-up embryos and pay close to $900 in fees! All 4 of our first choice embryos were thawed; 3 survived and 1 is now in Heaven with our other 2 babies. We were sad to hear that we lost one, but thankful that I now have THREE babies in my belly!

We had 2 expanding hatching blasts graded a 3AB & 3BB and 1 blast graded a 3AB. We were a little saddened to hear that they weren't as far along in their development than a grade 3. Last time we had a 5AB and a 6AA (a 6AA is the highest grading) and yet, neither attached. So, we know grading doesn't mean anything - God's sovereignty means everything! Pregnancies do come from grade 3 embryos (after all, we were all once a grade 3 embryo in the womb!), so we're trusting that God's grace will continue growing them. The embryologist did say that if they continued to grow, that our expanding hatching 3AB baby would likely implant today or tomorrow! My beta isn't until Friday, October 1st which surprised me (which is 12 days past transfer) and my last beta was only 9 days past transfer. October 1st seems so far away! But, all we can do is continue praying for their little lives and wait. :)

Our 3 precious babies!

P.S. I will get around to checking in on my other EA blogging mommies soon!

Friday, September 17, 2010

He Gives the Barren Woman a Home...

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!" - Psalm 113:9
My mom has been reading through Psalms in her devotions and came across this verse yesterday and sent it to me via text - I'm clinging to this verse and rejoicing in the Lord!

How fitting is that verse because we officially closed on our house yesterday! I wanted to wait and post pictures after it was officially ours, but after closing I went over to take a picture of it and our camera's battery was dead. Ugh. Pictures will come - just probably not until we move in the last week this month.

My ultrasound and labs were great again on Tuesday - follicles suppressed (thanks to Lupron) and my lining was at 10.7 mm (thanks to Estrace), so I was given clearance to be start PIO on Wednesday. My mother in law is giving the shots when Aaron isn't around, and she is doing a great job! She was scared at first, but after the first shot, she is doing fine with administering them.

Even though, we really don't have the money right now, Aaron is letting me splurge and get a massage this afternoon (I found a spa that gives 50 min massages for only $39 which is rare)! I want my body to be as relaxed as possible for the embryo transfer on Sunday, which is why we are doing this.

We leave tomorrow for Knoxville, transfer our babies on Sunday, and come back to Columbia on Monday. Please pray for safe travels, our babies to survive thawing and transfer - and to attach to my womb next week. I realize just how insignificant I am in all of this - God has already created them and without His grace, these babies cannot grow and attach. Aaron and I are asking the Lord to spare their lives and allow them continued life on earth with us. We really want to fill up our empty bedrooms in our new house! And since our transfer is on a Sunday, we will probably be transferring while many of you are in a church service - Please think of us and our little ones. Also, there are several of my blogger friends who have had a transfer this week, will have one this weekend or next week (all at the NEDC)- Please pray for them as well. They are all on my adoption blogs list if you care to read their stories too. To God be the glory!

I probably won't update the blog from the hotel and may be too exhausted on Monday (so please don't assume that something went wrong if you haven't heard from me on Sunday or Monday)- I'm not going to push myself to do anything the first day or two after the transfer. I will update though - Promise!

Can't wait to see our babies - their first picture prior to the transfer is breathtaking and beautiful! :)

Monday, September 13, 2010

More Happy News!

We have a closing date on our house - Thursday, September 16th! Yep - only 3 days before our embryo transfer! We will close on Thursday, drive to Knoxville on Saturday, transfer on Sunday, and drive back to Columbia on Monday. Since this is coinciding so close to our FET, I will be in Columbia for another week or so to rest and take it easy. We plan to actually move in the last week in September which is also my beta test. I have my last ultrasound and lab drawn tomorrow and if all looks good, then I will begin PIO on Wednesday. :)

For around two years, I have prayed for Aaron to be able to transfer to a city closer to SC (our home) - somewhere we felt in faith to buy a house, settle and make roots for awhile. When we moved to Greensboro in 2008, we knew that it wasn't "home" (although, we LOVED and so greatly miss our church family there! - you guys were "home" to us...just nothing else there!). Along with this prayer, I have also prayed that when God did allow us to move, that we could either have a child in our arms or growing in my womb. When Aaron got the news the day before our July FET that he was being transferred to Gastonia, I thought that God was answering this prayer exactly how I wanted. Of course, the negative beta caused me to think otherwise (although, I knew His plan was best!). However, we haven't actually moved to the Gastonia area yet, but Lord willing, the day we actually move in with our furniture and our belongings, I may have news of a positive beta. Wouldn't that be so kind of God? No matter what His will is, we trust Him because He is God - and we are only us.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Happy News!

I have happy news! We confirmed today that our first choice embryos (set of 4) have NO additional fees that we would be required to pay on transfer day! Each set of embryos have possible fees attached to them such as shipping (from the clinic where they were to conceived to the NEDC), possible storage, and/or STD testing on the genetic parents - all of these fees are paid by the adopting parents. Our embryos from our July transfer cost us a little over $300 in these fees.

However, if none of these babies survive the thaw and the embryologist has to thaw our "back-up" embryos, we would be required to pay close to $900. Given that 65% of blastocysts survive the thawing process and our first set has 4 blasts, Lord willing, we shouldn't have to thaw our "back-ups." Obviously, with funding the 1st and 2nd transfers (including medications, ultrasounds, and labwork) and purchasing our first house, this is needed news for our bank account. Praising God for His kindness in this and praying that our 1st choice babies will survive the thaw, transfer, and attach to my womb this time.

P.S. We should hopefully be closing on our new house sometime within the next 2 weeks - right around our embryo transfer. Busy, Busy!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

2.5 Weeks Until FET # 2!

My ultrasound and lab results were great on Monday, so I began Estrace this morning. I have my 2nd ultrasound and bloodwork on 9/14 and if all looks good then, I will begin PIO on 9/15 and transfer our new babies to my womb on 9/19!

I mailed our check to the NEDC last week. We should hopefully be receiving our additional information about the genetic parents' healthy history sometime this week.

I'm ready again (I think)... I've prayed so much for this 2nd embryo adoption - I feel like a whiny kid begging God for our children's continued life on this earth. But, I know that no matter what His will may be, they and we rest in His sovereign care.