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Saturday, April 24, 2010

Our Closed Adoption Process

I realized that I never announced on the blog that we decided to pursue a closed adoption and what that process will look like. Originally, we had been okay with an open or closed adoption, but have always preferred a closed one. Our only reason for considering an open adoption was our concern that embryos who were only available through an open agreement may not be adopted as quickly (We assumed that most adopting parents would prefer a closed adoption). However, there is a need for both, so turns out, it really didn't matter which one we pursued. We made this decision back in early February. For an anonymous/closed adoption with the NEDC, here is how it works...

6-8 weeks prior to our FET (frozen embryo transfer) in July, we will be emailed a really large PDF document with all of the profiles for their embryos who have been given in a closed agreement. All of the couples adopting anonymous embryos in the NEDC's July cycle will receive the email at the same time! Each couple then submits their 1st & 2nd choice (and even a 3rd or 4th if you'd like) and "it's first come, first serve"! In a traditional adoption, you receive a referral for a child(ren) and there really is no "selection" process. An embryo adoption is different in that you choose your children (at least with an anonymous adoption at the NEDC). It is intimidating and daunting having to "choose" our children and "not choose" others, but at the same time, this is how the process works. And, Aaron and I both know that God is ABSOLUTELY SOVEREIGN over our lives and we can't choose or be given any embryos that God hasn't already determined for us to adopt. Thankfully, we can rest in Him!

So, our profiles should be coming soon - either sometime at the end of May or early June! Yippee!

Note: The profiles will tell us the genetic parents' race, physical characteristics and when the embryos were frozen. Profiles will not tell us the embryos' physical traits or gender. Gender will not be known until a normal 20-week ultrasound, hair/eye color and other physical traits won't be known until Lord willing, after their birth. :)


Stacie said...

I LOVE your posts Jennifer! And I'm so excited for you guys!! =) -Stacie

Jess said...

Things are really moving along! Praying for you as you choose your embryos. We did anonymous as well through a local clinic and God worked everything out. We got quite a bit of info on the donor couple and they match us in almost every way, even blood type. We were open to any hair color, eye color, etc but hoped for a baby that looked like us. We got to see a pic of the donor couple's twins and they most certainly could pass for our biological children and this baby will too. So you are right, God will give you the embryos you are supposed to have.

Ashley said...

Wow, what a process! I will definitely
be praying for you all that the Lord 
will make clear, unified decisions on
which embryos to select. You are in
our prayers!

Room for More said...

Very informative! I will be praying for wisdom for you and you husband as you approach the decision making time. Thank you for sharing!

heather said...

I can't wait until you get your profiles. :) It made it feel so real for us!