The Entire Story of Grace...

Yesterday, Abel and Belle turned 6 months old. 6 months from yesterday, they were born via c-section and 6 months from today, I was having a 2nd surgery to remove a massive blood clot. While we have shared on this blog about my blood clot and second surgery, I don't know that some readers know how much grace was poured out on our lives 6 months ago. I couldn't bring myself to write these words when released from the hospital, but the reality is that I came very close to death.

While being admitted into the hospital and having to deliver at 31 weeks was due to my severe preeclampsia with extremely high blood pressure, that wasn't my biggest problem (thankfully, modern medicine has made early delivery much safer for babies today and few women die as a result of preeclampsia anymore). The c-section itself is what caused my internal bleeding and all of my vitals were dropping like crazy...even my extremely high blood pressure became extremely low within hours. All of my other vitals dropped quickly too. I felt like I was dying...all I wanted to do was close my eyes but I tried not to because I was afraid that I wouldn't wake up (although I know that because of Jesus, I am going to Heaven). The floor nurses kept telling me that my abdominal pain was gas. If my step-mom (who was watching my vitals drop) who is a RN hadn't been there and stayed on top of the hospital staff, I probably would not be here today. So thankful for God's working through her!

After they finally found the hematoma through a ct scan and immediately took me into surgery, I had 2 blood transfusions. I continued to have up to 4 more transfusions that week because my hemoglobin levels were not stabilizing completely. Abel also had to have 2 blood transfusions in the NICU as well. (If you are not a blood donor, please become one...hospitals are always borderline at having enough and it really does save lives!!!!) I had to have calcium via IV and a lot of other medicines through the IV as well that week.

On a smaller note, I also had cysts found on an ultrasound while I was pregnant and they were later diagnosed as Theca Lutein Cysts which are extremely rare (it is caused by the hCG hormone in some women). It is so rare that my Obgyn had to google some info on his phone because he couldn't even remember their medical term. As a result, one of my ovaries was the size of a grapefruit when the twins were born. Yes, the size of a grapefruit. The OR nurse said she had never seen an ovary that enlarged before. The cysts were biopsied during my second surgery and thankfully, they were not cancerous and dissolved shortly after delivery. An ultrasound in August confirmed that they were gone.

So, not only are Abel and Belle miracles after having been frozen for 4.5 years and born at 31 weeks...Our whole family is a work of grace. I found out at the dermatologist's office a couple of weeks ago from a student nurse (who was taking my weight, health history, etc) that the week prior, a 31 year old girl was having her tubal litigation reversed and that her surgery also caused a blood clot, but unlike me, she died in the hospital. That poor student nurse had to drive her to the morgue. I cried. That could have been me too. Thank you Lord for your graciousness and protection over my family and me!

I still have some slight pain that comes from time to time since the surgeries, so about a month or two ago, I went to see the Obgyn just to make sure everything was ok. He examined me and said it was just some scar tissue that hasn't quite healed yet, but that it should continue to heal and be pain free eventually. When he walked into the room, he said enthusiastically, "Hi Giant Hematoma Girl! Were you also the one with the Theca Lutein cysts?!" Yep, that was me. Out of an OB practice with around 10 providers and hundreds of patients, I'm that one girl who had crazy scary things happen to her that most pregnant girls don't have.

I share this story not because I want to scare anyone who is having a c-section (my story is again, very rare), I share it because I want to boast in gratitude before others about what mighty things my Savior has done in our lives. Praise Him!!!

Plodding along,.. but very blessed!

The past two days have been up and down with Jennifer, but we seem to be making some progress. Jenn's hemoglobin levels dropped again, not as substantial as before, but enough that the doctors decided to transfuse two more bags of blood last night. This morning, her blood tests showed strong numbers so she's not due to be tested again until tomorrow morning.

This morning, the doctor actually referenced her being discharged whenever her blood pressure stabilizes and when more of the fluid that she's carrying dissipates. While this still make take a few days, it was good to hear of the concept that we won't be living in a hospital forever. Today marked a week and a day that she's been in hospital care.

Jenn was been taken off her IV's and is working on walking some today. I, instead of a nurse, has been able to wheel her around, and today I got to take her to visit the babies and have some kangaroo care with them. At around midnight last night, Jenn feel asleep and so I went over to the NICU to hold the babies for the first time. This was one of the most precious moments of my life. I got to do kangaroo care (holding them skin to skin) for 30 minutes with each one. They responded very well to this and seemed to enjoy it very much. I prayed over each one as I held them. The babies felt so cozy and the room so warm and quiet, that I actually started to doze off at the end of Abel's holding. The nurse came by and asked, "Who's putting who to sleep here?"

Today Jennifer got to do the same for Abel and I held Belle. Since this was Jenn's first time getting to hold one of them, the nurse allowed us to go about 45 minutes. I think that Jenn is going to try to get over again tonight to hold Belle, but she's been so tired from the pain medications, we're just playing it by ear.

Please continue to pray that Jennifer will be able to come home soon. The babies continue to do great. Other than being small, they look as healthy as can be. Hopefully, Jennifer will be back soon to be able to pick up the posts.

-Aaron

Scary 24 Hours - Update

Thanks for all of your prayers and please continue. It has been a very scary 24 hours. Jennifer was losing blood rapidly and we couldn't find out the cause. Many of her stats were falling along with this and she was getting very pale. After an ultrasound and a ct scan, it was discovered that she had been bleeding internally and had a large blood clot. She had to go back into surgery where they were able to use the same incision to operate. They removed the clot and located and stopped the leaker. They also transfused her with four bags of blood. Jenn is now in the surgery ICU and will be monitored throughout the night and into tomorrow. Hopefully, this was the cause of the issues that she was having and we will see her stats improve. Already, her hemoglobin levels have increased and the color is returning to her face. Things are looking better, but please pray. Today was so scary.

Both babies continue to do great! We just need to get mommy better.

-Aaron

Abel and Belle are born!!!

Abel and Belle's birthday is June 4th, 2011! Abel was born at 3lbs, 10oz; Belle at 3lbs, 1oz. Both are in the NICU and doing great! When I left the hospital to pick up some clothes for tonight they were both breathing on their own. Jennifer is very tired, but is doing well. She did have to have a Cesarean section.

Jenn had a rough time last night. She developed, we think, some fluid in her lungs around 3:00am which had to be treated. We were told early this morning to expect the delivery to begin around late morning/early afternoon. Abel and Belle were born at 11:55 and 11:56am respectively.

In a really neat act of providence, a couple from our church was admitted to the hospital the same day as us and were put in the next room. She also delivered today an hour before us, so our church has three babies' births to announce tomorrow.

I know that there are a lot of details that everyone wants to hear that I'm leaving out, but I've been up for some time now and am having trouble remembering more than this. We'll update more info soon. In the meantime, please check out the below photos of the two babies who have stolen my heart...

Baby Pictures!

Preeclampsia

Yesterday we had a scheduled appointment with our OB where Jennifer turned out some very high blood pressure results. A combination of that, a lot of swelling and the presence of protein in her urine was enough for the midwife who was seeing her to admit her to the hospital. After being their for 24 hours, it was determined that she has severe preeclampsia. We were told that 300mg of protein is an indicator of preeclampsia. Jenn had over 6000mg.

She is being monitored closely and we have been told that the babies will probably be delivered very soon - we are thinking by the end of this week. She was given a steroid injection today to bolster the babies' lung development in preparation for premature birth. We were told that the babies can be induced after 48 hours of that injection. She's also being hooked up to an IV and made to lay on her side permanently.

Abel and Belle continue to look great. They we be at 31 weeks tomorrow and will most likely be in the NICU for around a month. They did give us a quick tour of the NICU tonight and it is very nice. This particular hospital has separate rooms for each baby, or a double room for two babies in our case along with a recliner or pull out bed. This makes it very quiet and private. The doctors also said that because of the position of the babies, Jenn may be able to deliver vaginally and avoid a Cesarean section.

I'll try to sneak another update in as things progress and as I have time.

-Aaron

Almost 29 Weeks!

I had my bi-weekly OB appointment today with an ultrasound. Abel and Belle are looking great and are both head down. The ultrasound did show cysts on my ovaries which the OB didn't think was a major problem and that they should dissolve on their own, but he is referring me to a high risk OB just to have her take a look at them and be sure they aren't more of a concern. He did say they wouldn't harm the babies, but may rupture with delivery. My blood pressure continues to be high, so I 'm now taking my blood pressure medicine 4 times a day!

Physically, I'm having a rough time. My 1st trimester was a breeze for the most part and I rarely felt pregnant. Then, halfway through the 2nd trimester, I started feeling the weight and strain of carrying two babies. And now, being in the 3rd trimester, I really feel awful. I'm extremely fatigued (which my iron levels came back perfect, so I'm not anemic) and hurt all the time. My feet, hands, arms, back, and stomach all hurt. It hurts to walk, sit down, sit up, lie down, get up...it all hurts. I can't even go grocery shopping by myself anymore. I threw up yesterday for the first time during this entire pregnancy and heartburn continues to be a problem. I can't finish getting their clothes washed and their nursery ready and I'm running out of time. I know that some twin pregnancies are a breeze, but mine has been very difficult for the past two months and I wonder how much more my body can take. But, I trust that God will give me grace to endure for however long He has chosen to keep these babies growing inside of me...and I am SO grateful for them no matter what!

25 Weeks!

Finally! - I have a belly picture for you! Here is my 25 week baby bump - I look huge to be only 25 weeks. I had my regular OB appointment on Thursday and my belly measured 30 weeks, which as always, the midwife assured me was normal with twins. Last weekend, I went shopping with my mom and had to buy new maternity clothes because I have already outgrown the original ones that were purchased in January/February - Crazy! My OB appointment went well. My blood pressure is still high, so the midwife said they may up my medicine dosage in the near future, but for now they are leaving me at the same dose I've been on. Other than that, all was great. We had an ultrasound and Abel and Belle again received an A+ from the midwife on their measurements and weight. I also had the ultrasound tech confirm their genders once more before I started washing their clothes...she confirmed that they are still a boy and a girl. So, at 25 weeks, I feel confident that we won't have a gender surprise now. Their nursery furniture and bedding arrived this week and I also purchased their stroller. Aaron has as lot of work to do in putting all of it together. I will be working on washing their bedding and clothes and getting that in their dressers and closet. So much to do and I can't believe how fast time is flying!

In addition to the heartburn, I have never been so tired in my life as I have this past month. My body is really starting to feel the weight and strain of carrying two babies and I'm exhausted. I am enjoying sleeping now while I still can! :)

22 Weeks!

I am 22 weeks today and had my routine OB check-up. My belly measured 28 weeks (Yikes!) and the PA-C assured me that this is normal for twins. Abel and Belle's heartbeats were heard on the doppler, so thankfully, everything appeared to be well. I have been having heartburn a lot lately, which I didn't have at the beginning of this pregnancy...I wonder why I'm having it now?

We have registered at Babies 'R Us and Target...almost everything x2! I have decided not to try and breastfeed. I know that many of you will wonder why I wouldn't attempt this because breast milk is best for babies. I know that. However, I also know that breastfeeding two babies will most likely be difficult and a stressed mommy will not serve them well in other areas. Both Aaron's mom and my mom fed us formula and we turned out fine. I also don't want to invest money in all of the breastfeeding necessities, only to find out that I'm not able to breastfeed (not producing enough milk, babies not latching on, etc) and have wasted that money when it could have been spent on bottles and other formula necessities. I struggled with this decision more from a financial standpoint than I did from a "breast milk is better for babies" standpoint. Breastfeeding is free and formula is expensive. However, after thinking about it and discussing it with Aaron and my mom, Aaron and I feel at peace with this decision.

I am reading your blogs even if I'm not commenting every time - and I'm excited to see what is happening in each of your families! :)

Blue or Pink?!

How about BOTH?!

We found out today that God has given us both a baby BOY and a baby GIRL! They both looked healthy and the nurse-midwife gave them both an A+ for ultrasound stats. What more could we have asked for?!

We are naming them Abel James (formerly known as Baby A) and Belle Marie (formerly known as Baby B). They will be called Abel and Belle. (Please no joking about Belle and "A Bel." We have always liked the name Belle for a little girl for years and Aaron has recently decided that he likes the name Abel for a boy. We realize that it could sound cheesy, but we don't mean it to be rhyming twin names...it just kind of has worked out that way.)

Abel and Belle were kicking and hitting each other and Belle's butt was on Abel's head a lot during during the ultrasound...too cute!

I decided that I didn't want to find out their genders until after we left the OB office, so the tech told Aaron the news and he kept quiet all the way through the ultrasound, meeting with the midwife, and exam. When we got in the car, he said "I just want you to know that we are having a boy and a girl!" I squealed and then my phone rang. It was the OB office saying that I had forgotten my lab orders and that I needed to come back inside. I said "Okay, I'll be right there - I love you!" HAHA I told the receptionist that I loved her because I was so giddy about just finding out the news of carrying a boy and a girl and out of habit, I always tell Aaron that I love him at the end of a phone conversation. I felt ridiculous and explained myself to her when I went back in. She laughed and said that she had been confused, but when I left she shouted back at Aaron and me "I love ya'll!" Pregnancy brain.

Looks like our poll was right with the majority voting for boy/girl twins. :)

Belle's Profile


Abel Yawning

18 Week Update

I found out this week that I don't have Gestational Diabetes! At least for now...I think I will still be retested at the normal 24 week mark. But, I'm thankful for answered prayer that I don't have to deal with that right now anyway.

I wanted to have an 18 week belly picture, but haven't taken one yet...maybe I will get around to it this weekend...maybe. But, I can definitely tell that my body is growing two babies...I look pregnant now. We were at IKEA last weekend and they have a ton of mirrors everywhere and at one point I asked Aaron, "Am I really that big or is it the mirror?" He said "You're really that big!" Haha - But, he loves me getting bigger and reminds me almost everyday of that...such a sweet hubby. :)

Not much else to report - Just waiting for our ultrasound in 2 weeks!

Birthday, Baby Shower, and 16 Weeks

My sister, Grace, and me with our Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Cake!

This past week Aaron and I drove to Memphis, TN with my mom, sister and her boyfriend. My birthday is on February 14th (yes, I'm a Valentine's baby) and my sister's is on February 13th - I turned 26 and she turned 19. We have some relatives on our mom's side who live in Memphis, so we were blessed to be able to spend some time with them. We celebrated our birthdays and Aaron and I had our very first baby shower! We haven't registered yet, because we have been waiting to find out their genders so we could be color specific. But, we were showered with many gender-neutral items such as a baby bath, Diaper Genie Elite, swaddling clothes, bouncy seat, etc. My mom has bought me enough maternity clothes to last for the entire pregnancy and she bought me a twin nursing pillow. I intend to try and breastfeed, but if it doesn't work out that I'm able to, I will still use this pillow to hold them at the same time...it goes all the way around your body to give you back support. We were so grateful for my family's generosity and love for our babies.

I had my 16 week OB appointment today and saw one of the nurse-midwives. My belly measured 18 weeks, but the midwife said that is normal for twins. My blood pressure has been high for the past 3 appointments, so they started me on a prescription for high blood pressure. I'm not convinced that I have high blood pressure though, because I've always had "white coat syndrome" and get nervous at the doctor's office and my blood pressure is often high. At the dentist's office a couple of weeks ago, my blood pressure was normal (the dentist doesn't scare me like regular doctors do-lol). So, I told the midwife that I am probably just nervous and that is causing the high blood pressure. However, high blood pressure does run in my family and they felt it best to go ahead and give me a prescription. My urine sample showed sugar in an abnormal range, so I am having to have my glucose test next Thursday to check for Gestational Diabetes. I wasn't supposed to have this test until 24 weeks, but because of my urine sample, they want it done at 17 weeks. If it comes back that I don't have GD, I will still have the normally scheduled test at 24 weeks. But, if the test does show GD, I will have to go to a diabetic clinic for the remainder of my pregnancy. Praying that I don't have GD! My weight was right on track for a twin pregnancy and their heartbeats were in the 140's, so overall, I think all is continuing to go well. If I continue to have high blood pressure and am confirmed to have GD, I won't be the only pregnant girl who has ever had those issues, so I'm not too concerned.

We scheduled our BIG 20 week ultrasound for Thursday, March 17th at 2:15pm (St. Patrick's Day) - I will be so glad to finally know if I'm carrying boy/girl, boy/boy, or girl/girl twins. I have a hunch that I'm not carrying girl/girl, but hunches don't really mean too much. I will be putting a poll on the blog soon, so be sure to vote for your prediction! :)

12 Week Update

I had my first OB appointment last week at 11 weeks, but all the doctor did was an exam and take a lab test. Today, I had my 2nd OB appointment at 12 weeks and an ultrasound! Both babies appeared to be doing well and were moving around (Baby A was quite the wiggle worm...so much so that the tech had a difficult time getting his/her heart rate). Baby A gave us a nice side profile, but Baby B gave us a direct facing (the alien look-lol). Also, I've included my first belly pic at 12 weeks...still don't look very pregnant, but a little bigger. I'm definitely feeling my pants tighten, so I've begun using the rubber band trick, but I'm not big enough for maternity clothes yet. The NEDC nurse called on Tuesday and told me that I could stop all meds and shots, because their placentas had now taken over and were producing the proper hormones - Yay for no more shots 2x a day! I'm now officially out of the NEDC's care and solely in the care of my OB office. My next OB appointment isn't until February 17th and my next ultrasound won't be until I'm 20 weeks (the longest I've been without an ultrasound) where we will also hopefully find out their genders. My OB told me today to enjoy my month off until February 17th because that would be the longest they would go without seeing me being pregnant with twins. Once I hit 20 weeks, he says I will be coming in a lot more frequently than a singleton pregnancy.

9-Week Ultrasound

Above is the picture of our babies at 9 weeks 0 days (sorry that it is kind of blurry). By God's grace, both babies looked great and had heartbeats of 158 bpm & 174 bpm! I had always thought that ultrasounds would be exciting (and they are), but they also evoke a lot of fear each time. This pregnancy is such a struggle in learning to trust God. The NEDC is closed this week, so they won't call me with their take on it until next week - But, the local nurse said all looked wonderful and not to worry. They are starting to look more like babies now - In fact, Baby A on the left was kind enough to face us and give us a good look at his/her spinal cord and arm/leg buds. Both babies were moving around which was so cool to see!

Some of you have been asking how I've been feeling and what symptoms I have had... Overall, I feel normal! The strongest symptom was an increased hunger that began during the 2ww which has continued, though now I think my body is adjusting to the hCG and the increased hunger is beginning to taper off. I've had some slight nausea in the mornings and nights, but no vomiting and some days I'm exhausted. Also, I've had cramping since the 2ww and I always worry when that happens, but I've been told by the doctor and nurses that it can be normal for some women. I also think I've been so nervous about this pregnancy that sometimes it can cause my stomach to hurt...who knows? In general though, I don't "feel" pregnant most days and begin to wonder if I still am, but the nurse assured me at my ultrasound this morning that I am very pregnant. Thank You, Lord!

Still Our Hope

This song "Jesus Came to Earth" is from the Sovereign Grace Music's Children album "Awesome God." I appreciate Sovereign Grace for teaching children (and adults) biblical doctrine throughout their music, rather than moralistic fluff.

Anyhow, I have to keep reminding myself that the Gospel is still our hope and not this pregnancy. I'm only 8 weeks today and I still struggle with fear this early into the pregnancy. But, then I repent of fear (over and over again), preach the Gospel to myself, and remind myself that if God should take one or both of them home to Heaven, then by His grace, our life will go on to His glory...simply because of the message of this song. All the while, I am also thanking Him constantly for making it to 8 weeks and praying to make it all the way to a healthy delivery! :)

Merry Christmas and please do celebrate the awesome truth that "Jesus Came to Earth!"

5 Year Anniversary!!!

By God's grace, today, Aaron and I celebrate 5 years as husband and wife! We would had never guessed on December 17, 2005, that exactly 5 years later, I would be pregnant with our adopted twins (we didn't even know what embryo adoption was until 2006). God knew though - how cool. :)

We plan to celebrate tonight at Cracker Barrel - not the most romantic place, but I really want some chicken and dumplings!...this is assuming that I can find the strength to get dressed tonight, because I tend to get very fatigued these days between 6-8pm. lol

Heartbeat x2

God blessed us by allowing us to see 2 strong beating hearts today! Baby A's heart rate was 120 bpm and Baby B's heart rate was 124 bpm. Thank you, Lord!

Dr. K's follow-up call was encouraging yesterday. He told me that heartbeats are usually seen at 6 weeks, but not always. And he also said that everything looked normal on Thursday and he expected us to see heartbeats today. We prayed he was right - and he was! We were amazed at the miracle of it all - somewhere between Thursday and today, God just "turned on the switch" and their hearts began beating.

I also realized that today is December 14th. On November 16, they were thawed and transferred to my womb. So, less than a month ago, they were frozen in liquid nitrogen and today, their hearts are beating! Amazing.

We haven't officially heard from the NEDC regarding my ultrasound today, but the local sonographer said everything looked great. So, Lord willing, Dr. K will also be pleased with the results.

Please Pray!

The more I have read and researched, the more worried I have become. I feel that the babies should have already had heartbeats on Thursday. I am the only EA blogger who has not detected a heartbeat by the 6-week mark (those of us who had 6 week ultrasounds - mostly NEDC patients). I am scared. I know fear is a sin, but it is so hard to trust. Aaron has told me not to google and use the internet as a crutch for not trusting in God. I know that God will have His perfect plan no matter what. I read in Psalm 139 yesterday about God knitting us together in the womb and numbering all of our days. These babies' days have been numbered and Aaron and I have no idea how many days God has destined them for. We are only stewards of them for as long as He has sovereignly determined. I don't know what Tuesday's ultrasound will show. I am scared and trying to trust God, but humanly speaking, that is hard today and I feel like mess. Please pray.

I do have my follow-up call with Dr. K on Monday and I guess he will shed some more light on the situation, because I've only talked to nurses at this point and not a doctor.

6-Week Pictures

The 1st picture is Baby B. The 2nd picture is Baby A. And the 3rd picture shows both of them together in my womb - how fun! :)

And I did want to make mention that we obviously lost 1 of our 3 babies. We now have 8 babies in Heaven. But we are thankful that for now, God has seen fit to allow these 2 babies to stay on earth with us. Please pray that their hearts will start beating and that they will stay with us for a very, very long time! :)

6-Week Ultrasound

Well, the ultrasound showed TWINS! And, I have to admit that in my heart of hearts, before I even knew I was pregnant, I had a hunch that there were two in there. They both measured great. Baby A measured 6w1d and Baby B measured 5w5d (the tech said any variance within a week is normal) - they both had fetal poles and yolk sacs. The downside is that neither of their heartbeats were detected. The tech at my local fertility clinic said this isn't a worry, because I am only 6w0d today and they don't even have their own patients come for their 1st ultrasound until around 7 weeks (I'm not sure why the NEDC orders them at 6 weeks, because most fertility clinics wait until 7 weeks). I also immediately called the NEDC nurse and told her about not detecting their heartbeats and she said the same thing as my local tech - that they are mostly looking for fetal poles and sacs right now, but that she would like to see heartbeats on an ultrasound next week. So, I have to go for another scan next Tuesday. Please pray that the Lord would grant them beating hearts by then! My flesh is worried about my babies, but my spirit is at peace and trusting that God will continue growing them.

I do have pictures, but I will have to upload those later because we now have to head off to my brother-in-law's college graduation!